Life In A Holding Pattern

I am waiting for my life to start. You would think that at 44 years of age I would know what I want out of life. What I wouldn't give to have a goal or to know what I want out of life or what I want to be when I grow type of thing. Trying to find yourself is totally over-rated. I have been searching for years and still have no clue. I know I have been unhappy with some of my choices and know what I don't want...but the "do likes" are as allusive as sand crabs on a crowded beach. You see other people with them, but all you get is the sand streaming through your fingers as the tide washes your hopes away. I think part of my problem is I am many different people in one. My desires are so diverse that if I give in to one, it deprives the others. No, I am not Sybil. I do not turn into different people. Like music, I love classical and I love Gospel...and I love Aerosmith, Lil'Wayne, Pink, Josh Groben, Timberland, The Guess Who, Joan Jett, Old Christian hymns...well I think you get the idea. I don't like Blues (too depressing) or most Jazz (much to my husband's dismay).
There are people with "old souls". I guess those people just know as if they have been through this more than once. If that is the case, I have a brand new never been tried soul because I was born completely confused about life, and more than likely I will be in a confused state when I die. Then there are those that just fall into a wonderful life. I know life is a struggle, but boy, sometimes I just feel like I have had my share. So I am back to the waiting part. I am waiting for things to fall into place, or a sign to where I should go or do next. Until then, I will be here waiting to get to there with as little turbulence as possible. I just don't want to be stuck here indefinitely.